We tend to place a lot of emphasis on appearance in our society, so it's everywhere around us, being forced down our throats, and over time we get convinced into thinking it matters. There are two problems with this: Firstly, we only see the outsides of others, the things they want us to see, the photos from nice angles, with a little blemish touch-up, and we're made to think that someone really looks like that. Really what everyone is doing is trying to disguise who they really are, through contouring, chin-hiding, and beach posts; it's all a game, and they're trying to convince themselves that their winning it. We have to remember that to live that way can be competitive, aggressive, and can often be totally dysfunctional. We have to live in the real world, and remember that all the beautiful photos we see are just snips of reality.
Secondly, in my opinion, attraction is super subjective. If you've ever been drawn to someone physically attractive, then seen them be nasty, or mean, or judgmental, you may have found them suddenly less attractive; even unattractive. I will admit, I've had many short-lived crushes on pretty girls, through high school etc., but my big crushes, the ones where I really wished I could be with someone, weren't sparked by looks, but as I grew to like who they were, they became more and more physically attractive. They would become more attractive to me than the typical "beautiful" person. I would even find others who lookes like them more attractive; my view of beauty had changed because of who that person was underneath.
I'm not saying it's easy, but we need to learn to love who we are, because when we learn to be ok in our own skin, that happiness radiates out, and it's really beautiful, and people are drawn to it.
I think Phil Collins would NEVER think what you said he may think. We are all just focusing on our own flaws. I walk down the street worrying about my gut, or my balding head, or my crinkly t-shirt, and I assume everyone is looking at me, but really, they're all worrying about their gut, and their balding head!
They're not shining a light on us like we think they are, we need to shine our own light on ourselves, but from within.
Hang in there, and feel free to chat some more,