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Topic: Help

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Hamburglar436
    Hamburglar436 avatar
    1 posts
    1 January 2019
    I've been suffering from anxiety for eight years now, and more recently I've become severely depressed. I don't find interest or enjoyment in anything I do, days just meld into each other, I'm without many friends, if I was to be blunt I have one I talk to and even then it's not always ideal. I have tried everything, exercise, escapism, counselling, barring medication which is a method I refuse to indulge in personally. This pit I've been stuck in isn't worsening, just never ending. I have tried to talk to my friend about it but he doesn't ... get it. I don't want to sound condescending to him but I feel he can only understand so much as a person who unlike me doesn't have anxiety or feels the exact way I do. I'm at a loss as what to do anymore, so I came here to ask for suggestions as to what could help me with enduring/pulling myself out of this constant state.
  2. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    smallwolf avatar
    105 posts
    2 January 2019 in reply to Hamburglar436

    Welcome to beyond blue.

    Some of our friends don't really know how to respond when someone tells them they have anxiety or depression. Unless they have the lived experience it can be difficult to understand.

    You said that you are tried counselling. How did that go? Would you consider getting help again?

    My psychologist also recommended I read a book titled "the happiness trap". I know it is also available in my library, so you might be able to find a copy in your library as well.

    As for what you could do... you could look at the threads on the forum for grounding and mindfulness. Both have ideas to help combat the worry and negative thoughts. Another idea is to have a look at a thread titled "three things to be thankful for today" where you might find things that remind you of things to be thankful for that you might have otherwise missed. Again, my psychologist wanted to me to write a journal about pleasures, accomplishments, gratitude, etc. Things that I might otherwise forget, and allows a reflection on good things that happened during the day rather than just the negative. It took me quite a while for it to work, so in this area, persistence is needed.

    There are a variety of apps that you could also try - smiling minds, calm, virtual hope box, relax melodies which include guided meditations.

    And if none of the above worked, there would be no harm in getting professional help again? And maybe find some ways of incorporating fun things to do each day?


    PS. You are not alone either. This place is filled with users just like yourself. Me for example. And the people here are helpful and supportive. I hope that you will come back soon and tell us how you are going.

  3. therising
    Valued Contributor
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    therising avatar
    80 posts
    3 January 2019 in reply to Hamburglar436

    Hi Hamburglar436

    It's definitely hard to relate to mental dis-ease/unease unless you've either been through it or have some education in regard to it. Myself, I experienced depression some years back. Nowadays, I love researching how the human mind and body tick. The research side is definitely empowering for a number of reasons

    1. It gives you the ability to kind of separate your self from the dis-ease as much as possible. Instead of believing you are your depression, you can come to understand to some degree that you are someone whose mind and body is experiencing the state known as depression. Your state of mind does not define you
    2. It can help in conveying to others reasons for the behaviour and thinking associated with mental dis-ease
    3. It can enable you to manage more productively in a number of ways, once you know how you tick

    The list goes on when it comes to the benefits of self-education.

    My daughter has just completed 1st year in psychology (year 10) and we have fascinating conversations. We and my 13yo son approach life from many angles. For eg: Whilst we acknowledge happiness from a spiritual angle (energetic connection to life), I will occasionally ask them to figure out ways in which they can consciously boost their serotonin (chemistry for happiness). Instead of solely asking 'What will make you happy?' I'll occasionally get them to become conscious of trying to alter/trigger their chemistry in a number of ways. It's a bit of a weird angle but most often works.

    Also, it can be hard to slip those runners on or find the motivation to cook a meal when dopamine levels aren't great to begin with. If dopamine is not at optimal levels, motivation can be almost non-existent. Looking into what increases dopamine naturally also provides benefits.

    So, we can alter what's going on up in that lab through external means (with anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds) or we can work out the best possible system which alters the chemistry through natural means. Both have benefits and both can involve quite a trial and error process. Either way thought processing typically still needs to be addressed, as thoughts (based on how we identify with life, esp through past experience) will also influence the way we tick. How we identify is, without a doubt, what goes toward shaping our identity. We are super complex creatures indeed.

    Take care Hamburglar436 and keep in mind that a little research can go a long way