Hey, just a kid here looking for advice.
Honestly, I don't know where to start, but I'll try my best. I'm detached from things. Friends, family, people in general. I'm confused because sometimes I'm having the time of my life with my friends and family, but other times, I feel like the most loneliest person in the world. I get the feeling that no one knows who I am, and I'm not even sure if I know who I am. Sometimes, I think I'm just this physical embodiment of other people thoughts, feelings and expectations of me. I feel like a fake. I lack motivation to do pretty much anything, and I fail to speak out when something bothers me.
I usually try to play things off with humor and whatnot, but I never let people know how much something affects me. An insult? I'd laugh it off, then proceed to think about it for the rest of the day. A push, a shove, anything including physical contact bothers me, though I'd never speak out. Guess I'm a bit paranoid. What I mean is, I think the worst of people a lot of the times. I feel like this is a complete 180, but my minds been to some dark places, which scares me. Wanting to hurt others, being paranoid about people hurting me, being paranoid that I affected others negatively. I feel like a mess. But anyway, I'm glad to be able to get some stuff off my chest. Vent a little. To be honest, I think this is the first time I've taken my mental health seriously. Probably the first time I've taken anything seriously.
Guess I'm kinda proud of myself.