Welcome to the forum and I really glad that you have reached out when you are feeling so bad about yourself. Being a young adult is really stressful and there are so many things to figure out..and you know what...we all make mistakes...I am 44 and I still make mistakes, however, if you learn from them well it is a lesson, and life is really full of lessons, we never stop learning. Please don't beat yourself up and yell at yourself about learning and figuring out things. It really is how we learn and how we grow. Imagine if we just went along everyday and did the same old thing and never made a mistake or took a risk to make a mistake..life would be very dull and boring don't you think.
I can hear how frustrated you are and that you are really upset as well and yes, there is so many expectations on young people today, so many questions.....what are you going to be when you finish school? what are you going to do at uni? are you going to go to uni? what job and career do you want? are you going to get married?....ahh the list goes on ...but you don't need to figure all that out today, nor tomorrow. It is easy let things fall and become lazy as you put it and just let everything pile up around us, but the thing is that the longer we do that the higher the pile gets...and sometimes it is really tricky to break the pile down....but it is never too late....never to late to make a change...and you are here chatting and get it off your chest...that is a very good start.
How about tomorrow you start just with getting up and doing something that makes you feel happy and puts a smile on your face, then maybe you could do 30 mins of homework and start to get back in to the swing of things just by putting one foot in front of the other, don't think about it all and fixing it all...just small steps...
Please don't give up, you are so very much worth it and I would like to chat to you some more.
Big hugs to you em_7500