I totally understand the feelings you have. It can feel very lonesome having this condition as most people who have no anxiety issues struggle to understand it.
I've spent many nights pacing my hallway and contemplating hospital and about 2% of those times I do end up there.
I've had this for most of my life even before I knew what it was. It started for me when I was 8 due to a traumatic young childhood and its stayed ever since. Sometimes I'm able to manage it well but other days I'm unable to and end up googling symptoms and pacing the house.
Tonight is one of those nights! I've been able to fall asleep but because the anxiety is brewing and has been all day a bad dream has woken me and I'll be awake for a long while.
Anyways, you are not alone. We are out there also with the doom cloud looming over us just as much as you :)