I was nervous about posting here at first but I obviously had no reason to be, thank you for such a warm welcome Pamela!
This is a usual pattern sadly. We argue, i take a day or so leave, he comes running back and apologises, I accept then go back to work and brush it off. But I can't count on my fingers how many times this has occurred.
I messaged him today basically saying that i am willing to work if needed this month however not on a full-time basis ( i need to fix up some bills). I will start job hunting as soon as the trip is over with no distractions, however I am thinking something casual/part-time after all these years to really give myself some time to find a passion or goal. My partner has offered to help out financially while I get back on my feet ( However i'm really independent and never ask anybody for a cent so it's difficult).
My father replied to the message saying "i love you, i just miss you come home do whatever makes you happy" He has a habit of trying to guilt trip me in the past which I am not going to let get to me. I just feel stuck there and I will continue too for the rest of my life I feel unless I finally bite the bullet and leave my job, and the family house hold but only one thing at a time..
My plan is too see him when he gets home to discuss, I don't know what to expect and I am feeling anxious as hell especially since I didn't see or talk to him on fathers day on the weekend after all this. See when things are good they are great! I would classify him as one of my best friends, but when they are bad... it's bad.