Hello Jackson, I'm sorry that depression has now affected your wife and at the moment talking to each other about 'old stories' is not going to help her nor you unless you want to really listen to one another and this takes a great effort to be silent while the other person speaks.
Firstly you both need to have counselling separately would be best as this is what she wants, and it will be a waste time arguing or debating with her because you won't be achieving anything, so respect her decision, when she is stronger then the discussion can be raised, that's if you want to.
It's a situation where I can't tell you what to do, however, what I can say is that you both need to see your GP, separately, because if you both go together then there maybe a conflict, so you need to express your thoughts by yourself.
It's going to be tough in a marriage with no affection, but it's important that you both have respect and have compassion for each other in this difficult time.
You aren't alone in how you feel as it's happened to many of us, including myself.
I would like to say more but I'd like to hear back from you.