Deeply sorry for the late response, I lost track of this thread >
Even though they're kinda constantly being spoken about, meditation and breathing techniques don't work for everyone. And it's okay that they don't seem to be the right strategy for you.
I hope you're able to reach for the relaxing soundscapes during times that you know it'll be effective. How has your sleep been lately?
I'm sorry to hear that your panic attacks seem to only break if a different kind of stress/problem arises. I hope the past few days have been okay.
I think finding what works for us can unfortunately take time, and it can be frustrating and demotivating when nothing seems to work. As missep123 said, having little things that you know will help make you feel even a bit better is a place to start.