I just turned 14, and as you would expect I’m starting to get interested in festivals, parties and boys. But the thing is, I can’t stand the way I look or my stance.
I never really worried about how awkwardly I ran or danced, until my family and friends started telling me about it. Now it’s the only thing on my mind. I’ll go to get up out of my seat in class, thinking I look awkward, or I’ll do a simple thing like bending down and grabbing my textbook and worry that people are judging me about how stiff I look.
It makes life so difficult to enjoy. I’ve always loved dancing to music as a kid. Now it’s been different, I stare in the mirror and cringe as I watch myself dance. Soccer was a passionate sport of mine, now I don’t try. I’m always thinking about how my body is so stiff when I run and how uncomfortable I feel.
I’ve always wanted to be that one popular person everyone loves, but I have the worst social anxiety. It really depends what days, but most of the time I feel so uncomfortable in class. Somebody will ask me a simple question like “what’s the time?” My face will turn bright red and then I’ll reply. After that, I’m stuck thinking about how red my face went and how stressed I am. I’m very open and confident around my close, small group of friends. But around others, especially boys, I get very overwhelmed.
Thank you for reading! Please help me increase my social and physical confidence, I hate it so much!