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Topic: Feeling lonely? Lost? Depressed? Me to.

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Loveapples
    Loveapples avatar
    1 posts
    2 August 2019

    I write this not with the hope of receiving advise. because I don't want it. I think what I really crave is to not feel so alone, so lost - to feel that there are other people out there going through similar things. Does that make me selfish? To hope that someone like me reads this so I don't feel so alone? If you are someone feeling the way I do (lonely, lost, worthless) tell me and maybe from hearing each others words we might feel just a little bit less alone. I am struggling very much to express how I feel, not because I am scared to but because it feels so extensive, so inexpressible; like no matter how hard I try I won't be able to write what I want to say; but, I think I need to at least try.

    Sometimes it feels as if my life is so painfully normal and empty. I achieve well in school, I have a great family, some school friends but no-one who I truely feel close to. I am nearly 17 and I have never been to a party, been kissed, been in love. I know I am still so young but I can't shake this feeling that I am watching my life go by and I am wasting it. I crave so badly a close group of friends, a boyfriend; not because I want to fit in but because I want to feel loved and less alone. I see people around me living freely, content in their friendship groups - out exploring the world. Yet I sit in my room alone, watching shows about the experiences I wish I were having.

    I want to go to parties, dance with friends under the stars, be kissed, experience love and heartbreak... I think I just want to feel truely alive. I am just so tired of being me and living my life the way I am. Constantly anxious, living on high alert and never having experienced a moment of absolute, pure peace and happiness. What does something life that even feel like?

    I finish high school next year and I have no idea what I want to do. I keep trying to convince myself that once I leave high school and enter the "big wide world" I will find my place and my people. But what if I don't? What if I have closed myself off so much that Its all I know how to do and I live my entire life never experiencing life biggest moments.

    When I look at my life, the experiences I have had; I feel exhausted, lost and most of all alone.

    I hope that at least one person reading this feels the same way; not because I would wish this on anyone but because In doing so I hope to make us both feel less alone. So if you read this and relate in some way respond - share how you feel and know your not alone.

  2. white knight
    Community Champion
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    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    483 posts
    3 August 2019 in reply to Loveapples

    Hi, welcome

    I dont feel like you but I did at 16yo. I'm 63 now.

    So stranded in the suburbs wondering how I could get a life I decided to join the Air Force at 17yo. Boy, did my life change.

    Full adult wages, travel, working in a team environment, friends, fun and fitness.

    To top that off I got a home loan after a few years service. This move fixed all my boredom issues and gave me a career.

    Just something you might consider


  3. JaneVV
    JaneVV avatar
    5 posts
    4 August 2019 in reply to Loveapples


    I totally understand where you are coming from. I’m 19 and I’m currently studying at uni. When I left high school, I thought my friends and I would stick together, go on fun adventures, party together etc.

    It’s been two years since we left school and we’ve only seen each other as a group once. I have tried planning things with them countless times but they always have excuses such as “I’m too busy”, “I have a wedding to go to”, or “sorry girl, I have to cancel, last minute plans have come up”.

    So in that way, I can definitely relate to you because I spend most of my time staying home either studying or watching Netflix. I simply have no one to do anything exciting with.

    To top it off, I still have heaps of people who were in my grade on social media, so seeing them all do the things that I wish I could do with my friends hurts me even more. I often find myself questioning: why wasn’t I friends with those kinds of people... why don’t my friends want to do anything...

    Its been tough but I’ve come to the brutal reality that i can’t really consider them as my friends anymore because they don’t really care about me and never make an effort to see me. It hurts because we were so close at school but I think the only reason was because we saw each other every day.

    I’ve tried making new friends at uni but a lot of people there already have their own groups of friends. I can barely make friends, so boyfriends are totally out of the picture for me. I guess we both just have to go with the flow and one day we will both meet the right person. We’re both young, and have plenty of time.

    Also, I was just like you when I was in year 12, I had no clue what I wanted to do. I just knew that I was interested in business studies at school so I decided to enrol in a business degree. Doing some of the compulsory subjects made me realise what I was truly passionate about - accounting. I know it sounds boring lol but you just have to stop trying so hard to figure out what you want to do, and let your passion find you.

    I hope you don’t feel so alone after reading this. Things will get better.

    - Jane

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