I totally understand where you are coming from. I’m 19 and I’m currently studying at uni. When I left high school, I thought my friends and I would stick together, go on fun adventures, party together etc.
It’s been two years since we left school and we’ve only seen each other as a group once. I have tried planning things with them countless times but they always have excuses such as “I’m too busy”, “I have a wedding to go to”, or “sorry girl, I have to cancel, last minute plans have come up”.
So in that way, I can definitely relate to you because I spend most of my time staying home either studying or watching Netflix. I simply have no one to do anything exciting with.
To top it off, I still have heaps of people who were in my grade on social media, so seeing them all do the things that I wish I could do with my friends hurts me even more. I often find myself questioning: why wasn’t I friends with those kinds of people... why don’t my friends want to do anything...
Its been tough but I’ve come to the brutal reality that i can’t really consider them as my friends anymore because they don’t really care about me and never make an effort to see me. It hurts because we were so close at school but I think the only reason was because we saw each other every day.
I’ve tried making new friends at uni but a lot of people there already have their own groups of friends. I can barely make friends, so boyfriends are totally out of the picture for me. I guess we both just have to go with the flow and one day we will both meet the right person. We’re both young, and have plenty of time.
Also, I was just like you when I was in year 12, I had no clue what I wanted to do. I just knew that I was interested in business studies at school so I decided to enrol in a business degree. Doing some of the compulsory subjects made me realise what I was truly passionate about - accounting. I know it sounds boring lol but you just have to stop trying so hard to figure out what you want to do, and let your passion find you.
I hope you don’t feel so alone after reading this. Things will get better.