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Topic: feeling down i guess

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. anotherteen
    anotherteen avatar
    2 posts
    8 August 2019

    i'm not sure if anyone will end up reading this, but lately, i've been feeling incredibly worthless. i feel like i could break down at any time. i feel down for one to two weeks, then im fine for a few, then im down again. its been going on for about two years. i think i started feeling down 2 years ago. i was in a group labeled as the popular group, but i was bullied out of it by two girls. school wasnt easy for me for almost a year, as i felt excluded in my new grp and shunned from my old. things got better. i became close with my new grp and friends again with my old grp, but there was always a lingering depressing feeling in me. im easily angered by my parents, but i stay happy for them most of the time. my grade is also highly toxic and divided; i know some people diagnosed with depression, as even one person attempted suicide (alive now).

    ive had a large group of 12 for 3 years, but lately, 4 of the people i consider are close to me have begun to wander off as their own 'clique'. its been persisting for months, and i understand that, in a large group, its inevitable to have close pairs or trios. the difference is, when these 4 talk to each other, they become incredibly obnoxious and completely oblivious to other people's feelings. i know because it isnt just me who feels like it. a few others from my group have behaved and told me about how they feel sad and excluded from their conversations when the 4 are together. the thing is, i feel like i value them more than they value me. it hurts to feel this way, even though it might not seem like much in words. ive handled small situations where they unintentionally exclude me, but its gotten to breaking point. i feel like, whatever i do, im constantly not good enough for them. furthermore, they dont care enough to ask me how i am or text me if im ok, even if i make it clear to them that im upset, which i rarely show as i know they wouldnt care. when i confronted one of them (which i did as nicely as possible), she ignored what i said about my personal perspective, as another refused to understand and got mad instead. from making me feel excluded. i dont know where i stand with them. i feel more alone than ever. when im sad, i focus my energy on them to laugh even just for a bit.

    school is hard. im always trying to laugh or talk as cover. i have many grade friends, but not alot to trust. the ones i trust are in different schools, and i barely see them. i feel like i cant keep friendships, despite how hard i try.


    2 people found this helpful
  2. Cleo1
    Cleo1 avatar
    1 posts
    8 August 2019 in reply to anotherteen

    Hi Anotherteen,

    Just wanted to say hi and let you know that someone out there is reading your post.

    Firstly, good on you for having the courage to reach out and seek help. Feeling down isn’t nice but sharing how you’re feeling is a really positive step.

    Have you talked to anyone in real life about the fact you’ve been feeling down a lot lately? It could be a good idea to chat to someone who is trained in dealing with these sorts of things, like a school counsellor, your GP or a psychologist.

    High school can be really hard, especially if you don’t feel like you have a group of supportive friends around you. I completely understand that feeling - my last year of high school was very similar.

    Friends should be people who have a positive impact on your life, people who you feel comfortable with and supported by. It sounds like you do have some people like this in your life, which is awesome! My advice would be to continue to pursue these friendships. Although they don’t go to the same school as you, just messaging them or asking if you could chat on the phone could be a step in the right direction. You could even talk to them about your problems at school and say that you’d really like to hang out with them because you really value their friendship and support. People like to hear that they are valued, so taking the time to tell them what their friendship means to you might help to strengthen that bond between you.

    Do you have many years left until you finish high school? Could you try getting involved in a club or sport that no one in your ‘group’ is interested in, as a way to potentially make some new friends? If you’re almost finished school, then you’re in luck! Very soon you won’t have to spend every day with that group and will able to phase out some of the negative people in your life.

    I don’t have any friends left from high school, but since then I’ve created a few really strong, supportive friendships with people who I feel impact my life in a positive way. I feel much better now than I did when I had a big friendship group of people who I couldn’t trust, and I know you will too.

    This stage of your life won’t last forever - things will get better. Anotherteen, I’m sending kind thoughts your way!

    2 people found this helpful