Hello Summer Rose,
Sorry its been a while - I did write a reply to your last message the moment I saw it, but it seems to have not gone through.
Anyways, there’s something that’s been on my mind for a while. My university friends are different from my high school friends - and I mean, really different. My high school friends were the sensible type of people, the kind who would never get in trouble at school, introverted and sort of ‘nerdy’, if you will. I’m not saying this is a bad thing - in fact, this was quite similar to the style of friends I had throughout primary school, the type I had gotten used to my whole life.
Well my uni friends are completely different story. They’re very outgoing, enjoy going on outings almost everyday (I can’t really join them because my parents are strict about me coming straight home after uni), funny, pretty popular in high school… yeah, that type. In fact, I’m really different to most of them. Comparatively, I’m much quieter than them, and amongst them I’m usually known as the studious, wholesome one (their words, not mine haha).
And we do get along pretty well - or so I think. Here’s where the issue begins.
So one of my guilty pleasures is bantering. I love jokey insulting conversations where a friend and I exchange teasing remarks about each other, and in a way, ‘bullying’ each other but in a way that’s pretty obviously a joke. In fact, I did this (in a mild manner) with one of my old high school friends and it always brightened up our conversations. Except I feel like with my new friends, I’m slightly more self conscious around them because I’m just so paranoid of messing up and having them dislike me - they’re very extroverted and would probably be perfectly fine without a friend like me.
Anyways, a small number of them (I’d say 2-3) are the ones I banter with the most, and at first I found it pretty funny. It mainly consisted of witty humour. But now the bantering is veering away from that genre, and including lines such as “no one likes you” or “I don’t want you around anyway”, or being sworn at. I’m probably kind of to blame for this, because I’m also bantering back at around with the same style (mostly because I don’t want them to think I easily get offended - and I don’t). But this is where it gets ridiculous - sometimes I think I’m starting to believe the things they say to me, as much as I’m convinced that they’re joking.