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Topic: Emptiness and worthlessness

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. ramey006
    ramey006  avatar
    1 posts
    4 March 2020
    For the past 3-4 years I’ve been struggling with feelings of emptiness and worthlessness. I feel as if I’m lost or just drifting into an abyss. I try to fill the void inside of me with alcohol, drugs and sex but they seem to be temporary solutions. I’ve struggled to find and keep a job despite my university qualifications. My social anxiety continuously ruins good opportunities for me regarding my career or relationships. I put on this act of being a funny and happy person to my family and friends despite feeling the complete opposite inside. I overanalyse and criticise every conversation and decision I make which further spirals me into a deeper state of emptiness. My life lacks meaning and direction! I look at my friends who are all accomplishing great things while I’m just stuck here floating.
  2. therising
    Valued Contributor
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    therising avatar
    105 posts
    4 March 2020 in reply to ramey006

    Hi ramey006

    I know it may be difficult for you to believe at the moment but you're worth far more than you realise.

    I'm wondering if you ever over analyse or criticise what you do or say when you're your most natural self (without the drugs and alcohol). Do you feel like what you have to say is worth saying, until you come to analyse it later? Is it possible that it is actually worth saying but you're saying it to the wrong people. If you were surrounded by people who could relate and enjoy the conversation, would that make some difference to you? Do you feel like you would be worth more, not worth less around people who encouraged you to be your natural self? What if you found people who were in a similar situation to you in life, would you be feeling differently? Would you feel more understood and supported? Would you begin to feel like you were worth more, as opposed to being worth less that others?

    Is it possible that you're discovering a kind of emptiness in the way of what your friends and family have to offer you? Is the emptiness outside of you, not inside? Would life feel fulfilling if you found your self among people who naturally fulfilled each other in positive constructive ways? Can you imagine the sort of people who naturally raised each other through challenges and the way of personal evolution?

    While your friends may appear to be accomplishing great things, you are accomplishing one of the greatest things a person can rise to - self questioning. By the way, if a person in a mid life crisis begins questioning earlier in life, chances are they won't hit the mid life (identity) crisis with such intensity. They will have come to understand the importance of questioning their sense of self. This is how we graduate through life. Some graduation challenges prove to be far greater than others. No doubt about it!

    So, the question is 'Do you know who you want to become?' Another question, 'Do you know the kind of tribe you want to begin vibing with, at a deeper more fulfilling level?' Does your graduation challenge involve some serious form of personal reformation?

    Remember, never stop questioning. It's the way to greater consciousness on the path of personal evolution.

    Every time we evolve or reform our self, we come to realise (at each new stage) that we are worth far more than what we believed our self to be. We are not worthless.

    :)

  3. white knight
    Community Champion
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    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    496 posts
    4 March 2020 in reply to ramey006

    Hi, welcome

    This emptiness has been going on for a long time I assume. So, please allow me to list a few responses before suggesting a few, more positive ideas.

    • Best not to look at friends successes. I had a school friend, self made multi millionaire by 35yo, now has a terminal illness. Their lives might look more rosy on the outside
    • uni doesn’t guarantee employment, sadly. There is no other way but to keep trying
    • A solid plan that doesn’t involve the drugs etc will give results. Break that routine eh

    Now that that’s out of the way, the obvious, let’s focus on the mind, from a peers viewpoint. The practical things to self help is not so obvious. Eg distraction has major benefits. Remaining mentally busy and motivated while entering into relaxation techniques do help more than people realise. Hobbies, reading, sports, camping etc are some of the things that divert your mind.

    1,3,5 and 10 year plans are good for goals eg if you haven’t secured appropriate employment in say, 12 months then consider a job that could be an adventure (mines) that will bring many benefits like financial security, entering an industry, confidence and who knows what else. At 17yo I joined the Air Force at 21yo from that experience I joined the prison service, from that a dog ranger etc.

    Keep busy, spread your wings and insert confidence

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    TonyWK