im currently 17, almost 18, and a first year uni student. ive constantly struggled with studies as a kid, especially with focusing and retaining information. for example, i used to do Kumon tutoring and i never got far in it cause it tests how fast you can solve equations and do reading comprehension, but i would lose focus and start daydreaming. that would result in me being yelled at.
i especially struggled in year 12, as i really wanted to study but i never started until it was too late and my SAC scores always turned out horrendous. i become super depressed and started to lose touch with reality as i would go to school in a daze, come home and procrastinate for the rest of the day and then not be able to sleep cause id be guilting myself. anyway, i managed to barely scrape past and hoped maybe uni will be better.
now im in uni, everything is online cause of the coronavirus and im losing touch again. its only week 3 and im 2 weeks behind on work. i have no motivation or focus. im thinking of deferring this year and taking a well-earned break.
but ive had this itch in my brain since i learnt about adhd; do i have it? i read the symptoms and i think “oh god that’s me”, but im scared my parents might reject the idea. how do i get myself clinically diagnosed?
some other symptoms i share with adhd is struggling to keep emotions in check; sometimes i feel completely numb and empty, but other times i get excited so easily or snap at others over small things. i make the most careless mistakes even with simple things like 2+2. i put my phone somewhere for a minute and then forget and get frustrated that i cant find it. sometimes i think i stim? but im not sure im usually not focusing on it.
please help and give any advice. im feeling lost in life right now