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Topic: Deep Driving Anxiety as a very New Learner

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. asianaussie
    asianaussie avatar
    5 posts
    6 March 2020

    At 22, I've finally got my Driver's Licence after years of hesitation. I've only started actually driving last week, with a Driving School Instructor. So far I've driven 6 times, each of which has been challenging and stressful. I'm have lessons 3-4 days a week with a man who's well knowledge and experienced, but very strict and tough. I've made numerous errors which had lead him to yell and make insulting questions like 'What's wrong with you?' and 'You always keep doing (this or that)!' and predicting I would fail the test and be a danger to everyone on the road. Stuff like that. The second day of Driving he made me go onto the main road, during School Peak Hour. I couldn't help but panic and I kept going too slow, whether turning or changing lanes. I've been honked at several times already. Things like this annoys him even more, which leads him to pull me over and lecture me with reminders, sometimes saying 'I've already told you this, you shouldn't need to hear this again.' I've come back home shaking, stressed, on edge and like yesterday, in tears and feeling shit about myself.

    Worse is, my family wholeheartedly supports this man, and they just tell me to 'shut up' and 'all for the best' stuff. My sister, who had him 5 years ago when she was on L's says positive things, that his strict teachings taught her to be a very good driver. My Mother was the one who booked him to teach me, and she's booked me in again for another 4 days upcoming week. When I've tried to talk up, I get dismissed and scolded by her, saying that I would be 'weak' to give up now on driving.

    I understand I'm new, and that this is common. However it's come to the point I'm crippled with dread, panic, stress and self-beating, hating myself and hating driving, regretting taking this up, even though I'm doing this as a life skill. I'm angry at my family and others for not understanding me, and at myself for being less competent than usually other peers, who feel excited and enjoy driving.

    I'm just writing this as a rant, if anyone's gone through this. While I appreciate advice and honesty from all aspects, however at this stage I'm just needing to calm down and find a way to overcome these fears and dreads, to become the best driver I can be.

  2. ErinB
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    ErinB avatar
    7 posts
    6 March 2020 in reply to asianaussie
    Everyone is different, so the driving instructor working for your sister and not for you makes perfect sense. She reacted well and was able to learn with strict instructions but you need someone who will be more gentle and supportive as you navigate this new challenge. I'm sorry your family isn't listening to you. Maybe you could tell your mum to cancel your upcoming lessons because you don't feel safe driving with your current instructor and tell her that you're looking for a new driving instructor who will suit your learning style better. I'm sorry you feel dismissed and ignored. I hope you're able to overcome your fears soon!