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Topic: Confusion with Ex boyfriend

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. SweetAngel
    SweetAngel avatar
    7 posts
    24 March 2019

    I’m still friends with my ex but I feel like he thinks we have a chance to get back together in the future.

    An example of this is for his uni graduation we got a professional picture taken of just him and I . He has bought that image (which wasn’t cheap) and wants to photoframe it to put on his bed side table.

    do you think he still has romantic feelings for me if he is framing a photo of us from graduation and also being so picky of which frame to buy? (E.g. can’t be too clunky, has to be white frame)

    i would like to hear your thoughts

    no other photos in his room but just that photo of us , and he didn’t photoframe the graduation photos taken of him and his family

  2. White Rose
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    White Rose avatar
    264 posts
    24 March 2019 in reply to SweetAngel

    Hello SweetAngel

    Relationships can be tricky at times. Being friends with an ex BF can be great. It shows your parting was amicable and you have respect for each other. Whether this is enough to rekindle the romance is different. How do you feel? Would you like to get back together?

    Sometimes asking the question directly can settle the matter but can also sever the friendship. Keeping your photo by his bed sounds as though he would like to get together but may also mean he is a bit lonely and the picture reminds him of the time you had together. This is pretty natural as I am sure you have photos of the good times you have had with friends. Graduation is a special time so a lovely picture reminds him of that day.

    It's hard to read a situation without knowing the people concerned so I hesitate to give a definitive answer. You are really the only person who can make that determination. Do you see each other often? Does he have a group of friends he meets up with from time to time? If all his spare time is spent with you it may indicate he wants to get back together. Ot maybe he has no other friends around.

    Perhaps if you see him less often he will get the message that you had great times together but must now go your separate ways. What do you think? If it is just the photo I would not be concerned. It's probably a keepsake of the day with no other reason.

    If you hold hands etc when you get together it may make him believe you want to get back together. I think you need to make up your mind what you want and if it is just to be friends then include him in activities you do with a group of friends but not one on one. Just the two of you is more like a date. Keep the friendship light and contact less frequent. If he wants to be your BF again he will make more effort and sadly at this point you will need to tell him no.

    Does that help?

    Mary

  3. SweetAngel
    SweetAngel avatar
    7 posts
    24 March 2019 in reply to White Rose

    Hi Mary thank you for replying , it was good to hear someone else’s perspective despite you not knowing us.

    .I liked your idea of you saying that he may just want it because it reminds him of the graduation day and it was a lovely day, but if so, why not have a picture of his whole family?

    But also, even if it was just a reminiscence of us together in the past, I didn’t think he would put so much effort into finding the “perfect frame” for it. He also has other pictures of us. Why does this mean so much to him?

    he definitely still wants to hold my hand , he says it, while we hanging out just the two of us.he still leans on for a kiss although I know he shouldn’t.

    But no, to your earlier point he has a lot of spare time as he doesn’t study anymore or have a job. So he doesn’t spend all his free time with me. But he definitely makes a priority to see me he says

    hope to hear from you soon, Mary

  4. geoff
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    geoff avatar
    881 posts
    25 March 2019 in reply to SweetAngel

    Hello SweetAngel, it seems as though he still has more than a feeling for you, perhaps love, because 'do you think he still has romantic feelings for me if he is framing a
    photo of us from graduation and also being so picky of which frame to buy',
    so I would say yes.

    I wouldn't want a family photo in the bedroom myself and never have, just photos of my wife and I (when we were married).

    He wants to be with you and if he didn't love you then he wouldn't want any photo in his room, I think that's lovely.

    Geoff.

  5. SweetAngel
    SweetAngel avatar
    7 posts
    3 April 2019 in reply to geoff
    My ex last night, whom I’m still friends with, said “I need you” to me last night. We were talking about how things are going between us as we still always fighting and he said he wants us to try to be better than this, I need you.
    I asked if he would get back in a relationship with me down the track and he said “yes I’m happy to get back with you in a couple months if things are going well. I still love you with all my heart”
    It’s nice he said that but it goes against what he said last week “we are friends or actually closer than usual friends with intimacy and emotional connection”
    I’m just flat out confused
  6. Hang10
    Hang10 avatar
    4 posts
    3 April 2019 in reply to SweetAngel

    Hi SweetAngel,

    Totally agree with response from both Whiterose and Geoff,

    Your friend holds you in high reguard and seems to understand why the relationship didn’t work. He cares about you but know the strain of the fighting that has caused difficulties and ended your relationship.

    It sounds like he had time to think, what maybe went wrong and him saying to try again in the near future says to me he working on himself to hoping get the relationship right if you go out again.

    It seems to me that he was the one that maybe called the relationship off or wasn’t ready at the time by now beening not so close together has made him realise how much he care about you.

    Any ex usually ends in bitterness but the fact you both can be good friend shows respects which is great.

    See how things go, listen to your heart. Hopefully the fights decrease and that you enjoy each other company. Try not to look to far ahead. It may help with confusion and allows you to make decisions at more normal pace.

    All the best

    Tony.

  7. geoff
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    geoff avatar
    881 posts
    4 April 2019 in reply to SweetAngel

    Hello SweetAngel, this going against my previous comment and I'm sorry about this.

    You can still love someone even though you're not in a relationship, but you don't really know if it's real love without direct experience of being together, in other words, if you keep fighting or arguing then you don't agree on principles then a relationship, living or being together would be difficult.

    You don't need to know someone to fall in love with them, there are many celebrities on TV we all love and want to be with them, but could we ever live together, maybe or maybe not.

    He also says 'in a couple of months' and he changes his mind, please be careful.

    Geoff.