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Topic: Complications with mum- should I move out?

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. SweetAngel
    SweetAngel avatar
    7 posts
    26 March 2019

    I would like advice of if I should move out and what the best option is? Should I rent with a friend, go into a share house or put deposit on house.

    im 22 , still living with mum to save up for my future , but it’s the constant cycle of her and I fighting, it’s her way or no way, she doesn’t see any one else point of view, she emotinal abuses me it’s a negative environment she doesn’t want to change her attitude or see someone about it. At least I am seeing a therapist

    what do you think my best option is of moving out for my mental health and to be happy??

    Thank you

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Croix avatar
    230 posts
    26 March 2019 in reply to SweetAngel

    Dear SweetAngel~

    I would think before deciding what to do it might be an idea if you knew where you are with your boyfriend. I've read all three threads and am still unsure if there is hope of a relationship or not.

    This of course makes a great deal of difference to your options.

    Parents, rightly or wrongly, tend to be authority figures and things someone else might say you could shrug off, but when it comes from a parent it carries extra weight, and is more upsetting as a result.

    You have painted a picture of an inflexible and demanding figure, is there any way you can step back and try to see her as just that? A person with limitations.

    Croix

  3. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
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    romantic_thi3f avatar
    368 posts
    27 March 2019 in reply to SweetAngel

    Hi SweetAngel,

    Thanks for your post. This is the only one of yours that I've read so I'm not getting a full insight like Croix is.

    These are all big decisions. I'm not really sure which one is the best option, because they all have pros and cons. I'll try and share some of my thoughts and maybe that will help you decide -

    rent with a friend

    pros: you get to see your friend

    pros: you save money

    pros: you're not locked in (like you would be with a house deposit)

    cons: if you clash or have a fight with your friend it's super difficult

    cons: if you or your friend wants to buy a house/move out it's tricky too

    go into a share house

    pros: you can save lots of money. Share houses are often cheaper than renting with friends too.

    pros: you're not locked in (like you would be in a house deposit)

    pros: you always have people to interact with and can make lots of friends/socialise a lot.

    cons: there's always people around so you don't get much of your alone time

    cons: dealing with stuff like groceries/bills with multiple people can get exhausting

    deposit on a house

    pros: it's long term so you don't need to worry about other people breaking a rent contract or having to move out

    pros: you get your own space

    pros: your money is going on an investment, and you get to decide where your money goes

    cons: it's long term so you're kind of stuck for a while if you change your mind

    cons: it's very expensive

    cons: if you're not renting out other rooms you won't get the chance to be as social

    I'm not sure if any of this helps?! Maybe your therapist might be able to offer some extra ideas or support.