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Topic: Broken hope

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Abx
    Abx avatar
    1 posts
    22 November 2018
    Hi everyone! I think my hope when it comes to LOVE is definitely broken. I thought I was able to find hope in someone who I ever wanted. He's a guy I met online and dated for 3months. It's brief but it made me really happy. We spent several times together, if we're not together communication through text and call is done everyday. He say sweet things, complements my insecurities, keeps me warm, holds my hands when we walk and all sort of things that couples would do. The way I know him is that he's a good communicator, honest, kind, reassures me every now and then, complements everyone and helps out others. Just enough for now. I'm enjoying the moment with him. However, one day he just broke it off with me. I don't know what happened or what I did or whatever reason that he said he can not like me more than enough for him to commit to me. I was shocked, overwhelmed, full of emotions mixed in a jar that I can not explain. I'm crippled physically, emotionally and mentally but trying my best to function at work and daily living. The last time I talked to him he said he maybe a dismissive attachment style. I've read about it but I find it weird coz he would be able to talk about his childhood, exes, friends and family. He shares his views and thoughts on different matters. I don't know if I should believe him. For me it seems like he's finding an excuse. I lost my confidence in him and even myself. I'm not sure what I want to do or I want to hear. This makes me so weak and half functioning.
  2. blondguy
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    blondguy avatar
    295 posts
    22 November 2018 in reply to Abx

    Hello Abx

    Welcome to the forums and good on you for having the courage to post too! The forums are a non judgemental and Safe place for you to post:-)

    I understand what you are going through as I was in the same situation in 2015...and being in a beautiful relationship that suddenly ends can leave us in a dark place Abx. I know many people that have met someone special online....including myself

    Its only my humble point of view Abx from what you have posted above. You mentioned "I don't know what happened or what I did or whatever reason that he said he can not like me more than enough for him to commit to me" Do you think that he was insecure/scared of commitment?.. it seems to be his problem...not yours

    Either way I feel your pain as I was told the same by a girl I was with in 2015 and the pain was unbearable as I thought she walked on water...seriously

    Your friend may be able to discuss various deep and meaningful issues and thats always an excellent quality yet he may not be able to commit to a relationship...(no matter who he is with)

    I really hope you can stick around the forums Abx. You are more than welcome to post as many times as you wish about what you have been through....Any comments/questions are welcome as there are many gentle people on the forums that can be here for you :-)

    you are not alone

    Paul