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Topic: Break ups suck

12 posts, 0 answered
  1. lemonyb
    lemonyb avatar
    17 posts
    31 March 2020

    Hey- hope whoever’s reading this is having a sweet day so far.

    I’m currently dealing with a pretty crap situation, and a confusing break up.

    If anyone has any advice on how to cheer myself up or distract myself, please feel free to let me know!

    2 people found this helpful
  2. Birdy77
    Valued Contributor
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    2242 posts
    31 March 2020 in reply to lemonyb
    Hey lemonyb,

    It's very cool that you have made your way here to this lovely accepting and safe space. It's a place where you can lay your worries down amongst folk who care.

    Break ups are completely suckworthy, i totally agree.

    Confusion, hurt, anger, fear, heartache ... so many emotions, thoughts, swirling and struggling for airtime all at once.

    If you would like to talk about any of what is going down or how you're feeling, please know that you have this space to let out some of that hurt, frustration, confusion, whatever.

    This stuff really just has to be gone through and survived, to a certain extent I'm afraid, but there are definitely things that help.

    I have found immersing myself in something physical can really help, running, walking, dancing, gardening have all helped me in the past. Do you have a hobby or interest you can lose yourself in?

    It's extra hard at the moment because of our confinement to home ...

    There are other strategies i have found helpful, which i will be happy to share and others may join in, but i want to post this to you now because i want you to know you are so welcome here, and if you want to talk anything through, or get anything off your chest, you will be met with care and understanding.

    🌻birdy
    1 person found this helpful
  3. Clear82
    Clear82 avatar
    28 posts
    31 March 2020 in reply to lemonyb

    Break ups are never ever easy!

    And I know people say in time it will get easier and I know we don’t feel like that at the time but you will feel better in time.

    Dont be hard on yourself at this time too.

    I found some exercise and music helps. As well there is a good TED talk I listen too by Guy Winch called how to fix a broken heart

    1 person found this helpful
  4. lemonyb
    lemonyb avatar
    17 posts
    31 March 2020 in reply to Birdy77

    that was the most wholesome and supportive thing I’ve heard in a while, thank you birdy 💖

    I’ve found walks with my dog usually clear my head a little, but due to isolation I have to keep them short and simple:/ I’ve also tried writing and drawing but they don’t really help at the moment.

    if you have any other suggestions please let me know:)

    1 person found this helpful
  5. lemonyb
    lemonyb avatar
    17 posts
    31 March 2020 in reply to Clear82

    Thanks for the reply!

    Music right now puts me in a little bit of an odd mood, but I’ll check out the ted talk when I can:)

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Birdy77
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    2242 posts
    1 April 2020 in reply to lemonyb
    Hey there lemonyb,

    How are you feeling today?

    I am glad to hear you have your furry friend with you, i agree, walks with them are excellent for clearing the head, so make sure you still allow yourself to do that, even if they're not the long rambling walks you might need right now, it's still allowed (and important) to get out moving in the fresh air with our furry bffs.

    Writing and drawing sound like good activities as well, but i can understand how it might feel like they're not necessarily helping a lot just now. Maybe it's hard to concentrate, i know that can be a big problem when you're going through a heartache.

    Not sure if you're a fan, but i have found a surprising amount of distraction from jigsaw puzzles. Something about the methodical way you have to find all the edges and put the pieces in groups of colours and work from the corners or however you like to do them. It might sound like a boring idea, but they have definitely helped me to take my mind off my hurt and confusion at times.

    Do you like baking or cooking? That's another thing that has helped me to get out of my own head for a little bit. Plus, you emerge out the other side with something scrummy like a cake or a pie or some muffins or a curry. Win win?

    Do you have anyone you can talk to about your feelings with what happened? Sometimes just nutting it out a bit, with a friend (or a stranger, like on here) can help a lot. Feel free to unload your feelings here if you like.

    I hope you are ok today, or have had some moments of ok-ness at least.

    You are going through a time of hurt and confusion, so be super gentle with yourself, and know that we are here and listening.

    🌻birdy
  7. lemonyb
    lemonyb avatar
    17 posts
    1 April 2020 in reply to Birdy77

    Hey Birdy

    I've been feeling a little down in the dumps today, being stuck at home with family 24/7 is driving me a little mad right now haha. How have you been?

    I'm not actually sure if we own any jigsaw puzzles anymore, but I do bake and cook occasionally for my mum when she's feeling a little glum, sometimes it allows me to relax, but sometimes it just stresses me out more.

    I have one friend who I've been able to speak to in depth about what has happened, but she's also quite young and has never been in a relationship, so she finds it quite hard to understand (which is completely understandable), but she tries her best to be supportive, which I appreciate.

    I really thrive on expressing my feelings and things I'm going through face-to-face in person though, which is making it a little difficult to really talk about how I feel.

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Birdy77
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    1 April 2020 in reply to lemonyb
    Hey lemonyb,

    I hear you - being stuck at home can be a majir challenge!

    I hope you are finding ways to keep sane and occupied?

    Did you get up to anything helpful or interesting today?

    I had a very frustrating day today as well, so you are not alone, this covid crisis is affecting us all.

    I understand totally, it can be a lot easier to talk things through face to face with a friend, and can be hard to put feelings down on the screen.

    It is good that you have your one friend, but a bit limited i guess if she can't really empathise with what you're going thriugh, not having been through something similar herself.

    What i have found really difficult during breakups (and I've had a few), is that they seem to have this ability to take over every single corner and pocket of your mind so that it makes every little task really, really hard.

    That is why i think it's good to try to find things that can distract you for even short moments, which eventually morph into longer and longer moments, and eventually, you start to feel fractionally normal for a nanosecond of your day = whoop!!

    It is very cool that you sometimes cook and bake when your mum is feeling glum.

    I would like to take a moment right here to appreciate the word "glum" and how brilliant it is that you used it!! It is such an expressive word! You can't really say it - out loud - without kind of feeling just a tad glum yourself!! I tried it. And i did feel pretty glum while i said the word! Am i right? Thank you so much for reviving this word for me! Not that i want to feel that way, but it just wraps up a whole lot of ... glumness .. in one word. !!

    Now ... you should look for some jigsaw puzzles, out in the garage, or the spare room, just to see if you have any.

    Or ... how about looking up some online craft ideas, ir something different, to get your mind working in a different way?

    I nay have rambled on a bit, i had a strange day, so i found it nice talking to you. I hope it made some sense, ir something like sense.

    😊

    🌻birdy
  9. lemonyb
    lemonyb avatar
    17 posts
    2 April 2020 in reply to Birdy77

    Hey Birdy! Don't worry about the rambling, it made sense to me haha.

    I actually joined a group chat on headspace last night, which was really refreshing and helpful, plus... pretty wholesome at some points, so that was nice.

    And hahah yes! I'm not entirely sure why the word "glum" came to mind, I was originally gonna write "slum", but felt that it didn't fit right. I'm glad you're happy about me bringing it up though! Even if saying it aloud made you feel a little... glum.

    I'm probably gonna get some research homework done for art class to hopefully get some creative juices flowing!

    I hope you're having a better day today:)

    1 person found this helpful
  10. Birdy77
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    2242 posts
    5 April 2020 in reply to lemonyb
    Hey lemonyb,

    How have you been feeling the last few days?

    That is really cool that you joined in the Headspace web group chat - have you tried that again? So glad you foubd that helpful and uplifting. Terrific news.

    Have you found some wholesome things to fill your days and take your mind off your troubles? Did you find some inspo with your art homework research?

    I don't think i described the whole "glum" experience very well last time - i don't think it totally made me feel glum when i said it, but more like, it sounds glum, when you say "glum". Almost like onomatopoeia , but not exactly, but close. Do you think?

    I hope you are feeling ok about your situation - here to listen of you feel like talking.

    I am going to start a jigsaw puzzle tonight, 1000 pieces (well - i bought it from the op shop, so i am *hoping* there's a thousand pieces🙄🙄🙄) it's a picture of a whole bunch of cute little old birdhouses.

    Thinking of you, hope you are ok.

    🌻birdy
  11. lemonyb
    lemonyb avatar
    17 posts
    6 April 2020 in reply to Birdy77

    Hi Birdy

    The last few days have honestly been pretty stressful for me :/ How have you been doing?

    I'm glad I found the group chat myself, I joined it a couple more times, and plan to again when it opens again :)

    And I did actually find some inspiration with my art homework- I completed a painting today (for homework), but other than that I've found watching YouTube or playing the Sims is a nice way to take my mind off of things.

    I would have to agree that "glum" is kind of like onomatopoeia! It's a hard word to really fit into a set category haha.

    Hopefully your puzzle had all of it's pieces, it sounds like quite a cute puzzle, I'm not entirely sure where you get the patience for 1000 pieces though. Let me know how it goes :)

    1 person found this helpful
  12. zguenzl
    zguenzl avatar
    31 posts
    14 April 2020 in reply to lemonyb

    Hey Lemonyb,

    I hope you're doing well today.

    During moments when I'm feeling down, I like to spend time with my friends/family/people not associated with the situation.

    This helps to remind me that there is life outside of this one person and the world doesn't stop turning just because they're gone.

    Maybe this will help?

    I also love reading and reading about mindfulness really helped. Do you like reading? If you do I'd recommend The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson - so funny but also really insightful.

    All the best,

    Zoe