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Topic: Almost died, Lost my job, Stressed about uni, feel like rubbish

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. My-life-is-a-constant-Mess
    My-life-is-a-constant-Mess avatar
    7 posts
    19 August 2019
    Hey,

    So I'm 19 and I was looking for a job to have while at uni and I had a very difficult time I applied for 160+ jobs and I got 1 interview and I got that job, not being wanted was making me depressed and I had that job for 3 weeks and then I suddenly got very sick, I got blood clots in my lungs and heart and my heart failed. I should have died I was in ICU for 2 weeks and recovering for 2 months and after I was better I had one shift at work and they fired me. So now I have no job and I feel very sad and depressed like someone hit me with a truck. I know I'm going to struggle a lot to get one and all my family say stuff like you do nothing, your lazy, get a job. I do 3 kinds of volunteering and full-time uni with perfect grades so I don't think I'm lazy.

    I am a full-time neuroscience student in 2nd year and I have a perfect GPA of 7 and I'm terrified of losing it I would honestly probably sacrifice my friends and my health to keep it at a 7 I worked so hard to keep that I even managed to keep full marks while I was in ICU (it was week before exams when I got out). I honestly don't know what I would do if my GPA drops its unthinkable but I have a VERY hard course load this semester and the classes are really difficult and its a very large possibility that I'm going to end up with a 6.7 - 6.9 not a 7 and I would probably have a literal mental breakdown if that happens. Uni and grades are my life doing well academically is the only thing I have going for me in life and is the only thing I'm good at and proud of.

    I should mention I have GAD and am medicated and see a therapist.

    Not sure what the point of this post is I just don't have anyone to talk to.
  2. Swan.13
    Mentor
    • Masters of Psychology student on placement
    Swan.13 avatar
    5 posts
    21 August 2019 in reply to My-life-is-a-constant-Mess
    Hi there,

    I see a point in you posting here… you’re feeling extremely overwhelmed and you want to talk it through with other people. The forums are a great place to do that. I’m glad to hear that you’ve recovered from all these medical complications.

    The fact that you applied for over 160 jobs says to me that you’re a really dedicated person. You kept trying and kept persisting – that doesn’t sound like a lazy attitude. You’re also right in saying that doing 3 kinds of volunteering and maintaining great grades in uni demonstrates that you’re not a lazy person. Your schedule seems very full and you should be proud of all your accomplishments.

    It sounds like you’re really focused on getting a GPA of 7, and the thought of not achieving this is really scaring you. If you were to end up with a 6.7-6.9 GPA what would that mean for you? What would be the worst-case scenario if that were to happen?

    You mention that uni is the only thing you have going for you right now, but you also refer to some friends. Are you in contact with these friends? I think having a supportive social network around you is important as well for your mental health :) You should not have to go through these feelings on your own.