So I'm 19 and I was looking for a job to have while at uni and I had a very difficult time I applied for 160+ jobs and I got 1 interview and I got that job, not being wanted was making me depressed and I had that job for 3 weeks and then I suddenly got very sick, I got blood clots in my lungs and heart and my heart failed. I should have died I was in ICU for 2 weeks and recovering for 2 months and after I was better I had one shift at work and they fired me. So now I have no job and I feel very sad and depressed like someone hit me with a truck. I know I'm going to struggle a lot to get one and all my family say stuff like you do nothing, your lazy, get a job. I do 3 kinds of volunteering and full-time uni with perfect grades so I don't think I'm lazy.
I am a full-time neuroscience student in 2nd year and I have a perfect GPA of 7 and I'm terrified of losing it I would honestly probably sacrifice my friends and my health to keep it at a 7 I worked so hard to keep that I even managed to keep full marks while I was in ICU (it was week before exams when I got out). I honestly don't know what I would do if my GPA drops its unthinkable but I have a VERY hard course load this semester and the classes are really difficult and its a very large possibility that I'm going to end up with a 6.7 - 6.9 not a 7 and I would probably have a literal mental breakdown if that happens. Uni and grades are my life doing well academically is the only thing I have going for me in life and is the only thing I'm good at and proud of.
I should mention I have GAD and am medicated and see a therapist.
Not sure what the point of this post is I just don't have anyone to talk to.