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Topic: When I don't wanna give up thought get toxic!

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Valar Morghulis
    Valar Morghulis avatar
    1 posts
    24 November 2019

    Why is it hard to leave a place or situation even though I know it's hurting me each day!
    I always said to myself I don't wanna give up easily and kept on getting hurt and said "Yay! at least I didn't give up!!".
    And trying to justify the situation and people so bad even though I know it's not worth it!

  2. Doolhof
    Community Champion
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    Doolhof avatar
    380 posts
    25 November 2019 in reply to Valar Morghulis

    Hi Valar Morghulis,

    Thanks for sharing. Sometimes it is difficult to know when to walk away and when you should stay. I totally understand your dilemma. I don't know if there is a certain way of knowing one way or another.

    If we stay or if we go, our minds may go over different scenarios continuously if we allow them to.

    Maybe you could write down reasons for staying and reason for leaving and look at the list honestly to see what you really feel deep down inside.

    A psychologist or counsellor would be able to tell you why we choose to stay in abusive situations and relationships and why some of us tell ourselves the things we do.

    I guess the main thing is to keep yourself safe. If you don't feel like anything will change for the better it may be time to move on.

    Guess it all depends on the situation as well.

    Walking away sometimes is looking after yourself not giving up!

    Wishing you all the best, from Dools

    1 person found this helpful
  3. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    smallwolf avatar
    119 posts
    26 November 2019 in reply to Valar Morghulis

    Hi Valar,

    To my it is situational - your question that is. If you were talking about career choices then sometimes it is OK to move onto something else. If, however you were talking about health or life choices then it is altogether different. Things that get me wound up (make me feel low) could be argued to be quite trivial and at the same time are bound up with things that have happened in the past. Which is why I speak with my psychiatrist and psychologist - people who won't judge me.for my oddities. Dools has very good suggestions the previous post.

    As for staying where you are vs moving on.... there is a certain safety in staying where you are - you know what to expect, know what will happen so you can "cope" (loosely speaking) with it. With moving on however there is uncertainty - will things get better, will they get worse, how will cope if... there are less questions that spin around my/your head with safety.

    Ultimately, it is about putting your (mental) health first. Listening to you,

    Tim