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Topic: I’m scared about everything

  1. Izzy P 5
    Izzy P 5 avatar
    1 posts
    1 May 2019

    Hi I’m Izzy, a 14 year old girl struggling with extreme anxiety, ocd, panic disorder and depression. I came on here cause I don’t know where else to go.

    I have severe anxiety while at school and I have been avoiding it the past week and it’s the only thing that makes me feel better but I also hate being home by myself so I’m stuck. I go to school and keep leaving class because I’m anxious and having a panic attack. Or I stay home and freak out and go out of my mind all day. I don’t know what to do I’m pertrified of everything and scared.

    No one understands it I cry myself to sleep most nights because I’m scared. I’m just over it all it’s being going on for years and physiologist isn’t helping and I don’t want medication this young because I want to try and overcome it. Also school is stressing me out because I’m attendance is horrible and I’m so behind and I’m failing and I’m so worried I’m going to fail year 9.

    Thank youse for your time I really hope you can help me.

    Sinceraly Izzy

    1 person found this helpful
  2. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    394 posts
    2 May 2019 in reply to Izzy P 5

    Hi Izzy Page 5,

    Welcome to the forums and thanks for joining us. I like your name :)

    I'm really sorry that you're struggling so much at school. I'm out of school now but I know I had a really hard time with it too - so it means a lot that you're here.

    I'm wondering if you can tell us what it's like with your psychologist and why you feel like they aren't helping?

    My go-to thought for mental health is often therapy, because well there's good research that it helps but also that it's helped me. So I'm keen to know why it hasn't helped you so we can try and find something that does.

  3. Izzy P 5
    Izzy P 5 avatar
    1 posts
    2 May 2019 in reply to romantic_thi3f

    Thank you so much for getting back! I also fear the unknown and I’m really scared because my mum and dad want to admit me to a mental health hospital and I’m extremely scared and I just want everything to stop. My physocologist just says try mindfulness but it doesn’t work for me at all and I’m torn at what to do know I’m just over life why can’t I be normal.

    Thank you

    Izzy ♥️

  4. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    394 posts
    2 May 2019 in reply to Izzy P 5

    Hi Izzy Page 5,

    That's no worries! Thanks for your reply!

    Oh man, I think I'd be scared too. The idea of being admitted to a mental hospital doesn't sound helpful for anxiety!

    I think the idea of mindfulness is being able to sit with all of that anxiety even when it's really hard. Often, lots of things that we are scared of doesn't really come true, but we keep getting scared anyway because our brain likes to problem solve and be ready for lots of dangers.

    I think that it's probably important to tell your psychologist how you feel about all of this. If this stuff isn't helping, she/he can try something else that is more likely to work for you. :)

  5. Billyc
    Billyc  avatar
    4 posts
    2 May 2019 in reply to Izzy P 5

    Hey Izzy,

    hang in their champ... What do you want be when you grow up?

  6. Billyc
    Billyc  avatar
    4 posts
    2 May 2019 in reply to Billyc

    what I mean is

    sometimes it works to have a distraction from your worries, your dealing with some very challenging issues, and it can be overwhelming..

    Do you have any interests or passions with what you want to do?

  7. Izzy P 5
    Izzy P 5 avatar
    1 posts
    2 May 2019 in reply to Billyc
    I appreciate this so much and not really I just sit in my room all day too scared to leave or interact with anything I just wanna be normal guys. Do I end it I don’t know anymore. 😥😭😭
  8. Izzy P 5
    Izzy P 5 avatar
    1 posts
    2 May 2019 in reply to romantic_thi3f
    Thank you! X and I have she just doesn’t listen to me she just says I’m not trying hard enough but what is hard enough I don’t know.
  9. Billyc
    Billyc  avatar
    4 posts
    2 May 2019 in reply to Izzy P 5

    Hi Izzy,

    firstly,

    talk to me and others on this forum as much as you want, always here for you.. I’ll be keeping an eye out on your posts,

    secondly,

    have you called the B Blue help line?

    they are very resourceful and can help you, and it always helps to talk to someone, I recommend you call them now, and talk.

    Please post and share if you have and if it helped you

    and if it helps than tell me anything you want to talk about.

    I do feel though that your in need of more support than I can offfer you.

    Share as much as you need too

    1 person found this helpful
  10. Billyc
    Billyc  avatar
    4 posts
    2 May 2019 in reply to Izzy P 5

    Something that helps me with my anxiety is to join other threads and read other peoples experiences..

    theres something about it thats very powerful, maybe through some support their way and see how it makes you feel? You may find some comfort in that you are helping others...,

    i can tell you my story if that helps?

    I am concerned for you and hope your ok...

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Izzy P 5
    Izzy P 5 avatar
    1 posts
    2 May 2019 in reply to Billyc

    Thank you!

    I just am scared because nothing is helping and the thought of medication is something I do not want.

    I just wanna be like my best friends and live life happy not like this.

    My school attendance is at 53% for this year and if I fail year 9 I don’t know. I’m very behind in my school work as I have had 78 days off of school this year. I just want to learn but whenever I walk into the year 9 building I get dizzy and can’t function and have to get my parents to leave work to get me.

    I have called them I just want this to stop and at such a young age of 14 this is really hard not gonna lie.

    Thank you! ♥️

  12. Izzy P 5
    Izzy P 5 avatar
    1 posts
    2 May 2019 in reply to Billyc
    Thank you and I would like that
  13. Billyc
    Billyc  avatar
    4 posts
    2 May 2019 in reply to Izzy P 5

    That must be difficult,

    i can understand your concerns to go on medication, it is a scary thought...

    Ill tread carefully with advice on losing time at school as your parents would be all over that.

    Ill just say that if you end up repeating a year.. it’s a small hurdle in the bigger scheme of things, your health is more important.. you have an abundance of time to find your place in this world and discover your confidence..

    stay in touch

    and keep well!

  14. Billyc
    Billyc  avatar
    4 posts
    2 May 2019 in reply to Izzy P 5

    I’ll give you my story next time..

    keep posting and I’ll look out for you, share any time.. your. It alone

  15. Billyc
    Billyc  avatar
    4 posts
    2 May 2019 in reply to Billyc

    Sorry typo...

    your not alone..

  16. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    394 posts
    3 May 2019 in reply to Izzy P 5

    Hi Izzy Page 5 (and a wave to Billyc!)

    Ohh damn that psychologist >.< I think you are really trying and it's not fair to say that you aren't! Mindfulness is a super tricky skill, so it's not like we can look at a piano and play mozart :)

    Are you aware of what's happening in your body when you get anxiety? Did your psychologist try and explain that - like our flight/fight response sorta thing? I'm asking because I get anxiety too and when it was really bad I didn't really know what was going on - just that I was scared. So I think understanding why our brain does what it does helps.

    Oh and your thought - "do I end it", end what?

  17. Izzy P 5
    Izzy P 5 avatar
    1 posts
    3 May 2019 in reply to romantic_thi3f
    Yea she brought that up but didn’t say much about it
  18. Izzy P 5
    Izzy P 5 avatar
    1 posts
    3 May 2019 in reply to Billyc
    Thank you so much for keeping in touch I appreciate it so much I just wanna be normal I’m just sick of this happening
    1 person found this helpful
  19. Izzy P 5
    Izzy P 5 avatar
    1 posts
    3 May 2019 in reply to Billyc

    I just don’t know how to function anymore because I don’t ever leave my room I just lay in bed all day and I’m tired of it but it’s the only thing that makes me feel kinda better in the short term but worse in the long term. Ughh

  20. Billyc
    Billyc  avatar
    4 posts
    4 May 2019 in reply to Izzy P 5

    Hi Izzy,

    Your heading says your scared of everything.

    Can I ask you a favour?

    Write down a list here of everything that doesn’t scare you,

    it can Ben anything, and star with your room because I know that doesn’t scare you, try and work your way outside of your room.. music, a band, a tv show, food in the cupboard that’s in your kitchen “outside” your room etc..

    write down list and we can go from there

  21. Izzy P 5
    Izzy P 5 avatar
    1 posts
    4 May 2019 in reply to Billyc
    I will try thank u
  22. Izzy P 5
    Izzy P 5 avatar
    1 posts
    4 May 2019 in reply to Billyc
    Can I hear your story billy?
  23. Billyc
    Billyc  avatar
    4 posts
    4 May 2019 in reply to Izzy P 5
    Ok, only if you’ll give my excessive a go after?
  24. Billyc
    Billyc  avatar
    4 posts
    4 May 2019 in reply to Izzy P 5

    I deal with depression and anxiety. I have for a very long time,

    I am the youngest of three. We dealt with some bad stuff when we were your age. Mum was an alcoholic, Dad was too and they used to fight all the time, It use to get very scary for us, we would get together and hide in a closet under the staircase, police would come around all the time.

    I was born in Spain and living there when this happened. One night mum came into our room and woke us up, sang us a song, I found out the next morning she left for England.

    Dad tried to follow her with us so we moved to England for a while. Things got bad again and the three of us found another hiding place.

    This time it got really bad so Dad flew us here to Australia put us in boarding schools and flew back.

    We lost our home, our parents, and found ourselves on the other side of the world, living with complete strangers.. there were plenty of days where I wanted to hide.. we did our best.

    We used to go back to England and Spain for Christmas but mum got worse with her drinking and Dad stopped trying, and wanted to start being happy again. So after a few years hat stopped. When I as 17 I started partying more than studying, my brother became mentally ill, and my sister developed cancer in her spine and became paraplegic. Did cake over to help her, but I don’t he liked me very much, I used to give him a hard time for leaving us. So one day he bought me a plane ticket to England to live with mum. When I saw her at the airport her face as green and she looked very sick from alcohol.

    She lived in a government supported house, she died 5 days later.

    At that point I had enough.. I was tired of being scared, angry and disappointed, so I walked away, went to Sweden got a job and made some friends, bought an old car and travelled all around Europe on my own. Jobs here jobs there, sometimes I slept on the street or under a bridge.. I used to buy newspapers and stuff my jumperwith then so I’d keep warm a night. I change my world, I was still scared I knew then that I always will be.

    i came back to Australia when I was 21 and went to uni and studied architecture.. that was really scary...

    im now 40 I have two daughters 7 & 9 beautiful girls.. and I draw big buildings.. I’m still scared, sometimes I don’t sleep because I’m worried my buildings will fall down.

  25. Izzy P 5
    Izzy P 5 avatar
    1 posts
    4 May 2019 in reply to Billyc

    That’s horrible so glad u overcame that

    I hope one day I can over come this.

  26. Billyc
    Billyc  avatar
    4 posts
    4 May 2019 in reply to Izzy P 5

    Hey Izzy,

    I know you will,

    Small steps... and pat yourself on the back occasionally and tell yourself how amazing you are...

    There’s a beautiful world out there waiting for you.... it is literally on your door step...

     

  27. Izzy P 5
    Izzy P 5 avatar
    1 posts
    13 May 2019 in reply to Billyc

    Hi guys I’m back.

    I’m now seeing mental youth professionals as things got worse. It’s my birthday tomorrow and I have a peditrition appointment yay ugh been on a waiting list for months now. Not going great pretty shit tbh just felt like coming on here to talk.

  28. Billyc
    Billyc  avatar
    4 posts
    15 May 2019 in reply to Izzy P 5

    Happy birthday Izzy,

    i hope you have a fantastic day with family,

  29. Izzy P 5
    Izzy P 5 avatar
    1 posts
    15 May 2019 in reply to Billyc

    Hi I did thanks

    so im really upset at the moment I have now been put on medication I’m stressing about side affects and really don’t want to take it.

  30. Billyc
    Billyc  avatar
    4 posts
    15 May 2019 in reply to Izzy P 5

    Hi Izzy,

    The topic of medication is a sensitive one here on the forums, so I have to be careful.

    have faith in your parents, have faith in the professional help you are receiving, I know it’s scary,

    You can call beyond blue help line at any time to talk with someone who will understand your situation, it always helps to hear a voice on the other end of the line..

    personally just want to say congratulations on persisting to overcome your challenges, your a brave person.. pat yourself on the back, you deserve it.