Speaker 1: Some of the most helpful things people have said to me, or I've said to other people are, "We will find a solution, no matter how long it takes."
Speaker 2: For me, it would've been, "No matter what you say, I'm not gonna walk away." Because that was, I guess, the scary bit, that if I actually tell them what's going on in my mind, they're gonna run the other way.
Speaker 3: Straight away when you use the term "we," you make them feel as if they're not alone. So, "We're going to get through this. We can do this step by step."
Speaker 4: If you need me, at any time, you can call or text.
Speaker 5: We're in this together. Or like those cliche sorts of things actually do sound quite good.
S3: They slowly give you a bit more reassurance that things are going to be okay in the future.
S1: If you do say that you're gonna be there for them, and you're willing to talk about anything, make sure that you are willing to talk about anything, and make sure that you are gonna actively be there for them as well, so, follow through on what you say.
S2: Don't say things along the lines, "Oh, just snap out of it" or "You're attention-seeking."
S3: “You'll be right” or “Forget it. You'll be good in the morning.”
S2: I can understand why somebody would say them, if they didn't understand what depression and anxiety was or what it's like to go through it.
S3: Saying something like that is very dismissive how you feel, and straight away you feel as if all that really personal information, you've just disclosed to someone you trust, has just been thrown out the window.
S1: “Choose to be happy.” Things like that. Things that just completely devalued what I was going through.
Speaker 6: Of course, I wanna be happy, but I can't. I don't know how to get there.
S1: Right. Well, geez. If it's that easy and I can't do it, then I really must just be sucking at life. It just makes you feel even more isolated and you just feel weak.
S5: I think the thing that really frustrated me, if I did go back to school when someone would say, "What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? Why haven't you been here?" and just keep grilling with questions.
Speaker 7: They told me that it's really unusual that I'm going through that and there's something wrong with me.
S5: I just wouldn't get hung up on making sure that you say the right thing, because what they wanna hear is that you're there for them, not that you know all this stuff.
S6: So start by conversation whenever you can, and basically take it from there.