Is there ever a time when you can just call a quits? I mean, I’ve tried and it never worked. Adults look at me with pity in their eyes and teenagers disregard me. Why couldn’t I just be considered normal? Maybe my peers would treat me better if I had cancer or a disability. Who knows.
I used to push it all under a rug; the 3 suicide attempts, the rape, the attempt or murder, the depression and bullying. And the sad thing is the thing that effected me the most was the day I heard my own father call me ’sick in the head’. He wanted to stick me in a mental asylum for a week to teach me a lesson.
I’m struggling to find reasons to live rather than enjoying life. Shcool should have been an escape but it’s not. They say I’m a druggo, they I’m pregnant or worse things.
Yea, it hurts. Yeah, I let it get to me. I wish I didn’t. But I do.
I wanted to share my secrets and how much it hurts. I haven’t gotten to the other side, I don’t know if I will. But there is always someone out there who cares. I hope you care. Thanks.
July 13, 2012