Hi, I’m 24 female and things are starting to unravel for me.
I am scared to go to bed or go to sleep. The reason why I don’t like going to bed is that the minute my head hits the pillow and the light switches off, I start to think, then I stress, then I worry and then I just freak out and cry.
I worry about everything, university (i’m in my last two weeks of uni ever and I’m totally terrified, I’ve been there for 6 years and I haven’t got a grad job to go to), I’m unemployed generally, let alone the grad job, I was telemarketing but it made me freak out, so I’m dead broke and have bill worries. I am worried about my boyfriend, whether he is happy in his job, with me and whether my night time freak outs are weirding him out, I’m worried about my family, I’m worried about not being worthy of a grad job or employment as a solicitor (re: my degree), I’m worried about falling into a massive rut that could end badly, I’m worried that I have no close friends around and if my boyfriend ever chooses to leave me I’ll be desperately alone. I’m already worried that I am lonely as it is.
I suck at life it seems. At night I want to just run away from everyone and hide. I’m worried about the amount I’m worrying, I am going to drive myself mad.
It’s been like this for a while, I’m so so tired.
And if I do get to sleep, every second night it seems I have nightmares, bad ones too.
I honestly cannot handle it anymore.
I need help.
Please reply. Thanks.
May 22, 2012