Hi there TJB,

We are sorry to hear that you have been having a hard time lately. Have you ever thought about getting some counselling? This can help in order to talk with someone about how you feel but also give you a sense of understanding about what is going on. Finally it can help because you can create some ways to address things that are bothering you and therefore hopefully change your life in order for you to be doing what you want to be doing.

It’s great also to get some support from people that have had similar experiences so that you know that you are not alone in this and that it’s common to experience these feelings.

Hopefully there will be some others out there that can read this story and share about their experiences too.

take care,

Youth Beyondblue Team

Hi TJB,

I know exactly how you feel, I was where you are now for about 18 months a few years back. Boy, it sucks! The good news for you: it is FULLY treatable. You can and will lead a normal life again, you will sleep normally again, if you take the right steps.

Constant worry is really unhealthy. Our mind tries to control every single possible “risk” that exists (or that it “perceives” to exist) and thus it habituates an endless chain of perpetual thought trying to “solve” these “problems”. Little do we know at the time time that it IS our constant thought that is the source and cause of the actual problems we are experiencing. If our mind would just stop worrying, stop thinking, we could be at peace and have a clear head to focus on our day to day and relax enough to sleep at night.

It is crucially important in life that we learn to “let go”. Literally, we need to be able to simply put down our thoughts and worries, and let go. It is easier said than done, but remember that if we can “learn” this terrible habit of constant thought, then we can also “unlearn” it and learn better habits. We just need some guidance.

Keep in mind also that worry often bothers us mostly two times of the day: 1) First thing in the morning (our cortisol levels are high, serotonin is low therefore we are more susceptible to negative feelings and thus thoughts), and 2) Right before bed, this is because the lack of external stimulus has our mind run its “auto pilot” which in your case is constant worry. In somebody else’ case it could be silence (another trained habit), or thinking about work, or about anything else.

I learned to quiet my mind by doing a few things:

1) Monitoring my thoughts (or, practicing “mindfulness”). This is the art of simply lying down or sitting up, and just “watching” the thoughts pop into your head, observing your emotional reaction, watching how the thoughts transform into other thoughts, and eventually go away. This does not involve judgment or fear of your thoughts or feelings, just a passive observer. This trains your calm mind to separate itself from your thinking mind, and will give you more control. A superb book on this subject is “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. Try it.

2) Challenging your thoughts. A better exercise to do during the day as it involves interaction with your thoughts and feelings as opposed to passive observance. When these worries pop up during the day, challenge them with the facts (ie: I’m really worried about getting a good job –> Ok, many people are in this position and worrying about it is destructive not constructive, I’ll be better off just focusing on the small efforts that getting a job requires. This is where my energy is best spent.) Show yourself that your thoughts are mostly false and can not really hurt you, until you give them the power to do so.

3) Learning to observe your breath. Your mind can only focus on one thing at one time (seriously, try to simultaneously think two thoughts…..yep, impossible!). This is training your attention on the one body activity that can regulate mood, regulate mind and thus your behaviour: the breath. Google “deep breathing”, “observing your breath” and “mindful breathing” and get rolling.

4) Accept that you have very little control over the universe and your position in it. Yep, this is reality for all of us. We can all be ended at any moment, we are pretty small in the big picture. Acknowledge this, realize it as a fact, and learn to LET GO! Just do the little things every day, and you will see the big picture really start to change.

5) Exercise. Do enough to ensure your body is healthy and is a “happy tired” before bed. Don’t overdo it, as this is no good either.

6) EAt a healthy diet, with foods and drinks that don’t cause your mind to be stimulated (like caffeine).

7) When these thoughts come for you at night, greet them with a smile. Have a laugh at them while observing them. Just accept that it takes a little while to break this habit, and that like everything in the universe, they too are temporary.

I hope this helps. Come back and chat if you wish, I do feel I may be able to help you out here given my experiences (I was a severe insomniac for 18mths, really bad anxiety/depression, constant worry which physically broke me down and mentally burned me out). It can be done!

Steve

Hi, I’m sorry to hear about what you’ve been going through, it sounds like you may have an anxiety disorder, I was diagnosed with anxiety and then depression and I had very simular problems, I worried all the time about everything, I thought something horrible was going to happen to the people I loved, I thought I was going crazy everyday. I was not sleeping at all! And i had to keepyself extremely busy just so that the thoughts didnt get too overwelming. You’re not alone and maybe what you need is to see a doctor.. As soon as I accepted that I had a problem and got help I was put into counseling and medication that has really helped me, eventually you will learn strategies to control your phobia it just takes time xx