Hi Inez,

Thanks for sharing your story, I’m really sorry to hear what you are going through. I understand how you want to move away from it all and go to another school. While this may be a solution to a degree, it is not the best solution to this problem. The best solution is finding a way through the current day to day difficulties, and moving through the eye of this storm. This will change you as a person, justify your courage, and make you one strong SOB wise beyond your years.

Have you ever noticed that regardless of how tough some people’s situation gets, they find a way through it? Have you noticed that these same people become magnets for other people who are also experiencing problems of a similar nature? While it may feel like you have no friends right now, courage is contagious. Believe me, there are a lot of people at your school that feel exactly the same way you do. Like every day is hell, a drag, a fight. You may not know it, but there are. Just like it may not be fully obvious that you are going through these day to day feelings. Nobody can really know what you feel. As you stand up and fight this adversity, people become attracted to you. You become the magnet. You earn the respect and friendship of many others who will be loyal. This is the difference between staying and working through it, and leaving to find greener pastures.

My brother went through what you did. Every day. Quit school very early because of it. He recovered fully, got really strong when he started TAFE and working. It took a couple of years, but his life is much the better for it. Exact same difficulties as you, except he probably had it easier as he had two older brothers that basically slapped anybody who made his day to day more difficult.

Regarding teachers, perhaps they are joking and perhaps not. Still, they should know where to draw the line at saying things like you have mentioned above. You don’t deserve that crap, so if it gets serious report it to the principal. You don’t need to put up with this, teachers are paid to teach, not criticize. Hold them to it.

Have you seen your student counselor? Have you seen a counselor outside of school? These are great options to get some of this off your chest. I would highly recommend doing so asap. Just get it out there, speak to someone as you have here at YBB.

You can also call the YBB Helpline to talk anytime of the day: http://www.youthbeyondblue.com/get-help/

These guys are great and can not only help you out immediately, but refer you to health professionals.

In regards to your ex-best friend, let her run her mouth like a clown. You don’t have to feel bad because of what she says or what people believe. You KNOW the truth, the truth ALWAYS finds its way to the light. So, let her shoot her mouth off. If she is lying, if she is misleading people, eventually she will dig herself a hole she will find it hard to get out of. This is what happens to people that do this. They shoot their mouth off for a reason: insecurities and attention. That’s her problem.

In all of this, the most important thing to do is to speak to a professional about support mechanisms in moving forward. Day to day, week to week, things will get easier for you if you can go down this path. People have short memories, the idiots as school who are bullying you now, will soon forget and move onto bullying someone else. How pathetic! But, you will be ok. It will pass, as everything does. Know this deeply, and know that you will come out of it stronger and better.

I wish you well, come back and chat anytime.

Steve

hey Inez,
thanks for your story ur first paragraph is basically the same as my life im going throught the smae sorta stuff school and life.

I hope it gets better for you

jayden

Thank you Steve, for your words of wisdom. I have taken your advice - to a certain extent. I’m trying to act more confident about the whole situation, acting proud and what not, to show her that I do not care what me ex best friend is saying about me, as I know what the truth is.
In relation to getting professional help, I’ve tried, as I have a number of other personal situations (self harm, attempted suicide, bipolar etc.) but none of the help I am seeking seems to specify in my problem areas. I’m just about ready to give up on that…

Inez

Inez,

That’s a great start, well done. You need to go and see a good professional, I can’t emphasize this enough. I understand it hasn’t worked to date but there are only two reasons this could be: 1) Your counselor or therapist was either not very good, or could not click with you on a personal level, or 2) You weren’t ready and did not know how to put in the effort.

That’s it. So, call the YBB Line and see if they can offer referrals, or get to your doctor and see if he/she can do the same. We are all here for you in the meantime, don’t forget that either. Keep on going Inez!

Steve