2 and a half years my mum was going in to get a hipreplacment. While she was on the operating table they called code blue and rushed to get her oxygen . They found she had a heart condition, the next week while at home mum suffered a heat attack, that week was very hard not knowing if she was going to survive and going up to the hospital and seeing her with tubes and everything like that. A month after that mum had a cardioversion and she got through that and then she had the hip replacement. For 9 months of that year I was mums carer and still went to school and worked as well, I was 14
During this year my brother was smoking illegal stuff out in the garage and when mum would get home from work (her hip bone had completely disintegrated) my brother would ask my mum to hurry up inside because she was embarrassing him because she could not walk fast.
My dad is a homosexual whos partner is jealous of me. If I got given a present he would have to go and buy something bigger and better than it. I moved in with my dad in Dec 2009 to get away from the crap at home. My brother abusing mum and threating mum calling her every name under the sun, and during the three months his partenr would complain about everything, having my bedroom door closed and eating breakfast at maccas, just to name a few. I moved back with mum and dad and I were fighting, dad and I also had a fight at the start of the year and we did not speak for 6 months because I asked him not to bring his partner to a birthday dinner and he said that his partner is his life. When I moved back to mums the same crap started again and dad and I were fighting and I was getting bullied at school and in June I tried to kill myself and ended up being unconscious for 10 to 15 min, never told anyone except my best friend and her mum. That best friend then turned into my girlfriend and we would fight the whole time and then i broke it off with her after a month, we remained talking and then moved in with here and her family in Dec of last year. At the time she was dating one of my best friends which I found very hard to see them making out on the couch and getting told she still had feelings for me. After a week her mum was asking me for money to pay bills, which i did not have because we were in a battle with centrelink and I was not working because I moved to a different suburb. At this time mum and me were fighting and dad had said to me that I have caused all the friction in his relationship and all I called him for was money. I had told dad I never wanted to speak to him again in the November because he had been verbally abusing mum and he left a message on the home phone abusing her.
So that night I rang kids helpline because I was feeling suicidal and really depressed and we came up with some coping strategies and one of them was going for a walk.
The next day I went for a walk and when I came back I sat on the front padio, 5 mins later police were there and I was taken to hospital. On that day my ex kicked me out and I have not spoken to them again. That day when I was in hospital mum came up and i looked like a mess. Had not eaten or slept for three days. I spent the next week and a half in the mental health ward and even spent Christmas in there. I found that some of the staff in there were not that great to be around and the head doctor I did not like, but i liked my case manager who helped me a lot. While I was in there I had a family meeting with my brother and my mum, during that meeting my brother broke down in tears and so did my mum.
When I got out of hospital I was meant to go see a councillor straight away, but there was some miss communication and that did not happen and in Jan of this year, i had my second attempt and once again I was out cold for 10 to 15 min. Since then I have been on three different types of medication and ended up in hospital because i did not have an appetite and was down to 37KG, this new med I am on now works and back up to 45KG.
I also faced years of bullying at school for being short and acne. I know what a lot of people are going through
I am now loving life and I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel. Plese dont do anything to yourself, I have self harmed as well, it does nothing.
If you want to give up and your heart is about to break, remember that you are perfect and god makes no mistakes.
Life is a game, Life is not meant to be easy, but it is how you play the game life as to where you end up by the end of it, you can only move 2 position in the game, forward and backwards
April 21, 2011