My story
self worth and expectations
hey im kinda new to this
Well to start with im 18 and have always had serious self worth issues and confidence issues and have always felt like i have to live up to huge expectations.
Im the type of person that just sits on the outside and doesnt really get to know people i isolate myself just because i cant talk to people i even have trouble making phone calls.
My family is all successful my sister is successful and was straight out of high school ive always been told that i have the most potential out of anybody in my family and i have always just scraped by and this has made me feel like a failure and given me these self worth issues.
I have had only about 4 girlfriends in my life and even the ones i have had always screw me over telling me im not man enough or that im not good enough and ive reached the point where i dont see the point in bothering with people and wanna just be left alone but i feel a deep emptiness and i just wanna know if anyone feels the same as me or has any advice about how to deal with it.
any feedback would be much appreciated
Karl
Karl
September 6, 2010
Replies
thanks alot k thats really helpful
your advice is very much appreciated
Hi Karl,
I too also feel a deep emptiness, and I think it is loneliness. When we are negative towards ourselves we make these fasle beliefs like we’re not good enough, but this actually makes us feel worse.
What hobbies do you like? with the hobbies you like see if there is like anything in your community to meet different people
Perhaps speaking with a counsellor or psychologist
Sara
hey karl,
i feel exactly the same as you and sara do. sara i agree, i do believe it’s loneliness, in fact i know it. i’m 17 and i just feel that everything is going against me. my life never changes. i’m stuck in the same old boring routines. i can’t help but feeling that this isn’t going to get better and i’m worried that if i don’t do something about soon i will be beyond help and it’ll be too late. i keep telling myself that i need to get help and i make plans to then i just chicken out, except the thing is i know i always will.
my best advice for you is to get help from a counsellor or something because i know for me that is what will be the best. also, to ease any pain for a while try just chillin in your room for a bit and listening to music. just block the outside world off for a little while and let all your worries go. works well for me.
i hope you get better soon bro. i hope everyone with these problems does. good luck.
david
hey karl, just on the music i mentioned i suggest listening to this music to help ease the pain because these bands help me a lot in feeling better:
Paramore
The Offspring - (especially try the album rise and fall rage and grace, and the songs gone away and kristy, are you doing okay (this song is about depression))
Brand New (try the song “the quiet things that no one ever knows”)
Yellowcard
Sugarcult
Blink 182
These bands help me out so much so even if you dont normally listen to this kind of music you should try it for the sake of your depression.
enjoy it and get better soon =)
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hey Karl
it is sometimes hard to start talking to people. maybe take it in small steps. say hi to people you often see at school/college and give them a smile. that is what often starts off a friendship. when you feel comfortable with this, then maybe you can say a quick ‘how are you?’ in passing, just a brief exchange can boost your self esteem and you will realise that you can make friends. take it slowly.
its easier said than done, but try not to feel like you have to measure up to the rest of your family. i understand there are pressures but try and keep realistic, everyone is different.
hey 4 girlfriends is many for a lot of people! i know many people older than you who haven’t even come close to having a gf/bf! relationships can be difficult, there are always ups and downs, and some just don’t work out. these things happen.
don’t give up on people just yet, reach out, get to know people and try and make friends.
i also encourage you should talk to someone about it. a school or community counsellor maybe. or if it gets worse then go to your GP. they really help!
good luck